Broadway homestuck
by Crimson Writer Knight
Summary: 4 s3qu3l to bro4dw4ay k4rk4t. T3r3z1 Pyrop3 tr13s to l1v3 l1k3 4 hum4n. H3h3h3h3! H4ppy r34d1ng!


(Scene one city.)

(A taxi stops at an apartment.)

Terezi: so this is the place.

(Scene two: Inside apartment.)

Terezi: Is anyone there?

Sollux: Terezi iith that you?

Terezi: No it's your fucking lusus, of course it's me.

Sollux: What are you doiing here?

Terezi: um I live here.

(Sollux opens door.)

Sollux: Come on iin.

Vriska: Who the hell are you letting in here!

Feferi: Vriska, that's mean!

Aradia: It appears to be Terezi.

Terezi: Hi.

(10 days later apartment.)

Terezi (Wearing judges robe): I'm home!

Sollux: What'th wiith Thoth clotheth?

Terezi: Starting tomorrow I'm going to be a judge!

Sollux: But don't you have two be elected two be a judge? And even go two law thchool?

Terezi: I've been studying practically my entire life and no one else was running.

(Scene 3: Terezi's room.)

(Terezi stares at Scalemate on chair.)

Terezi: Did you really think that your heinous crime would go unnoticed?

(Song one: Criminal, criminal.)

Terezi: Well what have we here? The accused sits and shakes with fear. You know how that makes me… ….Makes me grin from ear to ear! You're lemony fear isn't all I can smell. You're not hiding your deceit very well. Tell us swindler, what drove you to such crimes. And hurry up, don't waste tyrannical time!

Terezi (Holding noose.): Criminal, criminal! To the window! Criminal, criminal! It's your fault you know. Criminal, criminal! It's your time to go! I'll secure the rope and you're out with a thro-o-ow.

Terezi (Holding coin): Hey criminal scum, let's make this a game. If this coin lands heads, I'm clearing your name. Justice is serious, justice is fun, I would never rest until justice is done.

Terezi: The coin has landed, you plea? What do you mean? There is no coin I can see. Are you picking on me because I am blind? That's pretty heinous! I can't help my eyes!

Terezi (Tightening noose.): Criminal, criminal! To the window! Criminal, criminal! It's your fault you know. Criminal, criminal! It's your time to go! I'll secure the rope and you're out with a thro-o-ow.

Terezi ( Puts noose around scalemate.): Criminal, criminal! To the window! Criminal, criminal! It's your fault you know. Criminal, criminal! It's your time to go! I'll secure the rope and you're out with a thro-o-ow.

Terezi: Job well done, justice is served. It's exactly what he deserved. It sure is delicious to win yet again. Victory counts even though it is pretend.

Terezi: Job well done, justice is served. It's exactly what he deserved. It sure is delicious to win yet again. Victory counts even though it is pretend.

Terezi (Goes towards window with scalemate.): Criminal, criminal! To the window! Criminal, criminal! It's your fault you know. Criminal, criminal! It's your time to go! I'll secure the rope and you're out with a thro-o-ow.

Terezi (Opens window and throws scalemate out.): Criminal, criminal! To the window! Criminal, criminal! It's your fault you know. Criminal, criminal! It's your time to go! I'll secure the rope and you're out with a thro-o-ow.

(Song ends.)

(Vriska opens the bedroom door.)

Vriska: I was walking to the apartment and what hits my head? One if you're stupid scalemates!

(Vriska throws a scalemate at Terezi.)

(Scene four two weeks later: Talk show.)

Talk show host: Were live with Judge Pyrope, The world's first blind judge.

Terezi: Hi.

Talk show host: So your honor, what are your interests?

Terezi: Dragons, Law books, the judicial system, drawing….

Talk show host: Your job is very easy to you is that correct?

Terezi: Very simple.

Talk show host: But what if you had to sing.

(Song two: Razzle dazzle)

Terezi: Oh you should never worry yourself! Think of it as a performance, and the jury is your audience!

Terezi: You should give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle, Razzle Dazzle 'em. Give em' flair with lots of flash in it and the reaction will be passionate! Give 'em the old hocus pocus beat and feather 'em. How can they see with sequins in their eyes? What if your hinges are old and rusted What if in fact you're just disgusted?

Terezi: Razzle dazzle 'em and they'll never catch why! Give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle, Razzle Dazzle 'em. Give 'em a show that is so splendiferous row after row will grow vociferous. Give 'em the old flim flam flummox, full and fracture 'em. How can they hear the truth above the roar? Throw 'em a fake and finagle. They'll never know there just a bagel.

Terezi: Razzle dazzle 'em and they'll beg you for more. Give 'em the old double whammy. Daze and dizzy 'em. Back since the days of Methuselah. Everyone loves a bamboozler. Give 'em the old three ring circus! Stun and stagger 'em. When you're in trouble go into your dance! Though you're stiffer than a girder. They might let you get away with murder. Razzle Dazzle 'em. And then the job's complete.

(End song.)

(Apartment: Two weeks later.)

(Karkat walks in.)

Terezi: Karkles your back!

Karkat: Can someone explain what's going on?!

Terezi: Well let's start with me.

(Story basically repeats itself.)

Vriska: Now it's my turn!


End file.
